This site may be called anticuck.com, but make no mistake: we despise liberals every bit as much as their cuckservative minions.
As every sane person knows, liberals are morally repugnant—the infanticide, the sodomite “marriage”, the treason, the genocide.
However, they are also physically repugnant—the “free love”, the toilet water baths, the wiping with a single square of toilet paper, the “art”.
Now liberals have plunged a new depth in their quest to be disgusting in the name of political correctness. An exceedingly ugly feminist slattern—quite possibly related to the Mahatma—ran the London Marathon with menstrual blood running down her legs, then proudly posed for photos afterward (I apologize for the link to the retard rag known as People magazine).
In saner times, other than picking radishes and other low-growing produce, Mexican midgets were considered fit mainly as subjects of jokes and prank calls:
And no wonder: the alliterative ridiculousness and the mental image of a little person in a big sombrero are hilarious.
(By the way, try saying “alliterative ridiculousness” fast five times.)
Under a new reign of Bush Family cuckservatism, however, just such an individual would get to determine U.S. immigration policy—the deservingly infamous line about the illegal alien invasion being “an act of love” was conceived by none other than Mrs. ¡Jeb! Bush.
Aside from the disastrous practical aspects of the president’s closest adviser being a Mexican native who apparently doesn’t even speak English and for whom becoming an American citizen was a “very difficult decision”. Now, this is our current First Lady:
By looking at that picture, you’d be able to guess Moochelle’s West African ancestors were cannibals even if it weren’t a historical fact. After eight long
eons millennia centuries decades years of that, do you really want to follow it up with this?
Señor ¡Jeb! Garnica Gallo Bush—King of Cuckservatives, Prince of Poltroons, Duke of Wusses, and Earl of Girly Men, all hail!—is now peddling a crappy plastic bowl with little feet for $75. It is called a “Guaca Bowle”.
If you’re both rich and severely retarded, you can get one straight from ¡Jeb!’s online store. But here’s a better idea: buy a set of 24 identical bowls from this site for a measly $35. Then, if you want to impress your cuckservative friends—and for the life of me, I don’t know why you would have any cuckservatives for friends, but let’s say it’s your father-in-law or something—you can tell them you spent hundreds of dollars on “Guaca-Bowles” to “help out the campaign” and you can even give them one of the ugly things, which they will treasure forever and place over their mantelpiece.
If you’re feeling particularly politically incorrect, you can tell them Columba Bush personally spoke an Aztec incantation over each bowl, thereby magically imparting an authentic Mexican flavor to any guac put in it. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but someone who believes ¡Jeb! Bush is “electable” and would make a good president will believe anything.
Talking about being politically incorrect, there’s something undeniably odd about ¡Jeb! mentioning his “secret guacamole recipe” but refusing to give it out. After all, these are people who, for some reason, like him enough to buy a worthless plastic bowl for $75 and yet he can’t share a measly recipe with them? Normal people post their favorite recipes online for free, for crying out loud, so why is ¡Jeb! oh-so-coy about his take on the creamy Mexican dip?
Information obtained by Anticuck’s South Florida bureau chief may provide an explanation. According to reliable sources, the would-be dynast didn’t reveal his recipe because it contains an unusual ingredient, one provided by a man fondly known in the Spanish-speaking Bush household as “El Toro”. Because of this, most folks would be unable to properly prepare ¡Jeb!’s version of guacamole even if they were so inclined.
Ever concerned to squash talk that he’s an elitist, ¡Jeb! has told friends, “There’s nothing I’d like more than for everyone in this country to meet a guy like El Toro, and when I’m president I’m going to make sure it happens. It just adds so much to a couple’s lifestyle and really strengthens their marriage.”
An anticuck, to put it simply, is an individual who loathes cuckservatives and cuckservatism.
Now, if you’re not a regular at the rational fringes of the Internets—what liberals and cuckservatives themselves would call “far-right Web sites”—then you’re probably saying, “Thanks, that makes it much clearer! Now could you tell me what the hell a cuckservative is?”
Why, I’d be glad to! “Cuckservative” is a recent coinage blending the words “cuckold” and “conservative”. It denotes an utterly despicable sellout who claims to be a conservative, talks like a conservative (at least during the campaign), and swears up and down to fight for conservative principles, but who then gets into office and unfailingly goes along with every destructive, disgusting item on the liberal agenda.
“Fair enough,” you may be saying, “But what does that have to do with letting another dude have sexual relations with your wife? If I remember my Shakespeare, that’s what a cuckold is.”
And you would be correct, which is why the term “cuckservative” is so to the point, and judging by their hissy fits, so wounding to the poor cuckservatives. You see, just like a cuckold watches another man ravish his wife, a cuckservative watches while the bull—that’s what the randy paramour is called in cuck parlance—does the same to America. And if America is the unwilling wife and cuckservatives are the omega-male husband, the bulls are legion: liberals, illegal aliens, Black militants, Muslims, homosexuals, crony capitalists, and any crappy Third World country that strikes an attitude—Mexico, Iran, Turkey, and, the biggest crappy Third World country of them all, China. That last one would never be in a position to challenge the United States militarily or economically if it hadn’t been for U.S. Chamber of Commerce crony capitalists selling out half of the country’s industrial capacity to them and the federal government ignoring espionage, currency manipulation, and other appalling behavior. That was done, of course, with enthusiastic cooperation from bought-and-paid-for cuckservatives.
What it comes down to is that cuckservatives and their liberal friends have had their slimy hands on America for far too long. It’s time for real men step up and rescue her.